Thursday 16 October 2008

Dave reviews... Chat up lines.

Okay, i actually did this a while ago, but never actually posted it up anywhere. I came across it just now though and thought it was quite funny, so here are my reviews of popular chat up lines!

"Your feet must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night!"
David- I like this chat up line- it is both clever and very sweet. I think this would be a good line to use if you at a fancy cocktail party. You would need to approach the female towards the end of the party, sidling up to her in a shy, but masculine way. Once you’re near her, whisper said line in her ear, and watch her melt!

“Is that a mirror inside your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants”
David- Now this is getting a little bit crass if you ask me. I don’t see any right thinking girl falling for this. Perhaps if they were very drunk, or very desperate, then this line would work, but you could probably just ask for sex and get the same response. Far too tart for my tastes.

“I've lost my phone number; can I have yours?”
David- Very clever indeed. It sounds so innocent, yet is so clever. This is definitely a good line to use on an intelligent girl, as she will no doubt get the pun. You can then talk at great length with said girl for the rest of the night about subordinate clauses and alliteration, before taking her home and pounding her.

"Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you"
David- Again, crass, but at least it has some kind of pun in there. It may appeal to the simpler girl who likes bright colours and nice hats.

“Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?”
David- Oh dear. Surely nobody actually uses this line anymore. It sounds like the kind of thing my Dad might have said to Sally the cheerleader at his school dance. Get a new line already!

"Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes"
David- Aha! Very clever! Definitely one to keep back for that geography student you always liked.

Is your dad a thief? Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.
David- It’s quite clever I suppose. However, a girl could get the wrong end of the proverbial stick here and think that you are instigating their father as a man of ill repute, which could cause all sorts of upset. The girl may look normal, but her father could be skipping taxes, or maybe even laundering cheap labour to Korea. My advice would be to stay clear of this time-bomb.

Is it hot in here or is it you?
David- I keep telling people this; it’s all about layering! If you’re too hot, then you must have too many clothes on. Therefore I recommend taking off that large jumper. If you’re still warm after that, then it could be a problem with the air conditioning, in which case I’d call in a professional.

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